Man, that’s so weird to think about. I’m actually getting married. It’s just so not what I planned for my life. I mean, well obviously I planned to get married, but I never planned to meet the guy in Arizona and whatnot. But I feel it’s the right thing for me to do. And I’m glad too. Not just because I love Nathan, because obviously I do, but I turn 25 soon. That’s so old. (Forgive Mormon culture, but if you’re not married before you’re 23 you’re practically a spinster.) Anyway, so let me give you all the deets.
Ok, I’ve told this story a lot of times already and in the interest of not having to tell it any more, I’m writing it down here. So read this; then you don’t have to ask me about it. Lol. So you know Nathan and I were talking about marriage and I know he wanted to ask me, but he was stressing about the ring. I told him in no uncertain terms that he was not to go into debt to buy me a ring. I would rather have money for our new lives together than a fancy schmancy ring. Anyway, Nathan would have had to wait for 2-3 weeks for his first paycheck to buy a decent ring. Then he told me he had his grandmother’s ring, but he didn’t know if I would like it and he didn’t know how I would feel about it. And then he wanted to use it to propose, but maybe get me a new ring when he could afford it. And there were logistical issues about that, because I wanted to keep the ring he proposed with. So after thinking on it and discussing it we decided he would show me the ring (which he had stopped calling his grandmother’s ring and just a ring he had mysteriously acquired) and I would say whether or not I liked it. And if I liked it I would just wear it forever and someday in the future when we could afford it he could buy me a nice fancy schmancy ring but it didn’t have to be before the wedding. If I didn’t like it, he would wait to buy a decent ring to propose.
So that was where we were at on April 14th 2011. It was Thursday and we were planning on going to the Mesa Easter Pageant that night. I hadn’t looked at the ring yet and I hinted to Nathan I would like to see it sometime. He said he understood and maybe we could do it later that weekend, like on Friday or Saturday. So earlier that day I was freaking out about our relationship and my parents divorce. I was all like ‘ what if in 5 or 15 or 25 years we fizzle apart and realize we’re all wrong for each other and then our whole marriage/lives have been a big waste.’ And Nathan was just like Oh Kylara, in this exasperated tone of voice. Then later that night we went to the Easter Pageant. We drove separately and when I got there we talked on the phone and did that Where are You, I’m here. Oh I see You thing that people do. We walked towards each other and finally caught up with each other. Nothing dramatic. (I’m imagining just a big movie scene here, where it’s this slow-mo dramatic lovers meeting. It wasn’t like that. We just met up with each other.)
Now for those of you who have never been on the Mesa temple Ground, or any Mormon temple ground, it is beautiful. It’s just this big place of peace and there’s green and nature with this big building towering and spiraling towards the sky. Even with the Pageant that night hundreds of people milling around, it was still just this awesome atmosphere. So we’re walking along the sidewalk holding hands. It was night. There was a small wind. In the back ground there was music playing, just some peaceful instrumental stuff. And Nathan started talking to me. He said ‘You’ll always try to work out our problems, right?” “Yeeees…” I say, hesitantly, not sure where he’s going with this. “ Well I’ll always try to fix our problems too. Our relationship won’t fizzle out, because we’ll always work to make our relationship the best ever.” I’m paraphrasing here. Then he tugged me to the side of the sidewalk next to a palm tree. It was the side closer to the road, not the big horde of pageant watchers. We were right near the sign out front that says Mesa Temple Visitor’s Center. I thought he was just pulling me to the side to give me a big hug or sneak a kiss. But all of the sudden BAM out of nowhere he pulls out the ring and says ‘I wanted to show you this.’ It is real silver and even though you can tell the stones aren’t diamonds, it’s really beautiful. It has one stone in the middle sticking out and then others on either side, smooth though, set into the band. (I’ll get pics.) I think the rocks are crystal or quartz or something.
Anyway, I am pretty sure I am in shock at this point. Some sort of surprise and putting the world on pause so I could just memorize this moment. I have the ring in my hand and I love it. “Do I have to give it back?” I ask Nathan. He immediately gets super nervous. He wasn’t ready for proposing and didn’t have a plan. He was worried, because he wanted me to have this grand story I could tell people. But I just wanted something sincere and from the heart. So this surprise proposal kind of forced him into sincerity and after a few moments of collecting his thoughts he started talking to me and proposing. But I’m afraid I really don’t remember anything he said. I totally spaced. I remember the music, or the fact that there was music. The wind was blowing gently on my face. Behind me Sirens as police cars or an ambulance or firetrucks (Some combination thereof) whizzed by. People were milling in anticipation of the pageant just across the sidewalk. In front of me Nathan is talking to me, professing his love or something. I’m pretty sure he repeated what he said before about us loving each other and always working out our problems. I start to get teary and the world starts to blur. Then Nathan is quiet and looking at me expectantly. “Aren’t you supposed to say something?” he says. “Aren’t you supposed to ask me something,” I reply. I’m pretty sure he said it already, I just missed it. But then he goes, “Kylara will you marry me?” And after a long pause where I consider the ramifications that I am actually about to get engaged and this is it, I say “Yes? I mean Yes!
So that was how we got engaged. The ring is beautiful, but it still needs to be resized. It’s half a size too small. The first person we told was our friend Jeremy, who unfortunately had pizza in his mouth when we told him, so that was funny. Then we eventually told our friends and family one by one. And then we made it Facebook Official, and now I’m telling you. Being engaged feels very strange, like not sunk in yet, because there’s so much you have to do with planning the wedding and stuff. But the closer the date looms, the more excited (and stressed) I get.
Our original plan was to get married on July 29th. Because I really loved the date 7-29-11. (9-2=7,9+2=11) Logistically we had some issues because we live in Arizona now, but my family and friends are in NC and we (I) wanted to have a big reception in NC and have our honeymoon there (in the mountains). But Nathan originally wanted to have the wedding here in AZ. So we were going back and forth and back and forth and finally we decided logistically that it would work out best to have the wedding in NC, then we could do wedding, reception, honeymoon and knock it all out in one day. Then Nathan told me his parents couldn’t make 7/29 work out, because of his dad’s work. And Nathan was like maybe we should have it in AZ instead. Let me tell you, I was FREAKing out that day. Because I couldn’t figure out how to make AZ work and Nathan was all, it doesn’t matter if all of your family isn’t there, because they’ll be at the NC reception. I was like no No NO! but we finally worked it out so the wedding is in NC on July 9th. His dad already had that week off of work. It really works out, because it’s a Saturday instead of a Friday and it is 7-9-11 (Odd numbers!!)
So the plan is we are getting married on the morning of July 9th in the Columbia South Carolina Temple. That is the closest temple to where I live in NC. Then, later that afternoon we’ll have the reception in my home church building. Besides the fact that it will be a crazy early morning, it’s really good because in between the wedding and the reception we’ll have time to go out to eat and rest and then get ready for the reception. By early morning, I mean crazy early. Be there at 7:30 for pics means leave at 6 which means get up at 5 for getting dressed, hair and makeup and food. Which will be 2am AZ time. That will be pretty crazy. We will also be having a reception in Arizona on July 30th. Nathan is pretty excited for us just to be married already. He just wants all the hooplah to be over and for us to just be living our lives together. I’m excited by that too, but I am having a lot of fun planning the wedding.
So far, the plan is that Nathan, Jake (nathan’s best friend) and I, and possibly our friend Dani (A girl) will be driving out to NC from AZ. We will probably stop at some neat sites along the way like Carlsbad Caverns and San Antonio and Baton Rouge. On the way home we will take I-40, just for a change of scenery. We’ll try to get to NC in time for 4th of July. Then that week will be a combination of partying, hanging with friends and wedding preparation. One day I want to go to Carowinds. One day a Bachelorette Party maybe, who knows. Then Friday will be wedding prep day. All last minute things and decorating stuff will be done. Then Saturday the wedding. Get home from honeymoon on Monday or Tuesday. Then we can go through all the wedding gifts and my stuff in storage and then leave to come home on Thursday or Friday and be home in time to go to work on Monday.
Nathan and I will be getting an apt with out friend Jake. (A 2bed/2bath apt, with rooms not touching. So separate, but still together.) In Mesa. We will be staying in Mesa until Nathan finishes his Associates degree so until Summer or Fall 2012. In Spring 2012 I’ll take some grad school classes at ASU. Then in either Fall 2012 or Spring 2013, I’ll start my Master’s at the school I want to go to (Currently GMU). While there, Nathan will finish his Bachelor’s. (Possibly. He wants to go into Industrial Organizational Psychology, so I need to do some research on some good schools for that.) Then we’ll eventually settle down in some NC mountain town. Or elsewhere in the Southern Appalachians. We will still visit AZ and all our friends everywhere and once a year we’ll host group gatherings where all our friends come visit us and that’s how we stay in touch.
That’s the future.
Right now, we’re focusing on getting ready for the wedding and trying to work out any kinks in our plans. I’ll make another post on wedding planning in the near future. I just wanted to give you some information about the Temple, in case you are wondering what the heck those crazy Mormon Temple Marriages are all about:
So first-Temples. Mormon temples are really sacred church buildings. On the front of the the church building it says House of the Lord. The Temple is considered to be the House of the Lord on Earth and it is supposed to be this really clean place that He can come visit. So in order to keep the Temple clean, only worthy church members are allowed to enter. Not even all Mormons are allowed to go inside. Before you go to the Temple, you have a temple interview and get a temple recommend. Some of the questions they ask are this: Do you have a testimony of Christ and the church? Are you paying your tithing? Are you keeping the Word of Wisdom (aka not smoking ordrinking alcohol or coffee)? Are you living the law of chastity (Aka not having sex before marriage or doing intimate things with someone else or yourself that should be saved for marriage?) Are you honest with your dealings with your fellow men?
Basically they want to know if you are being obedient and keeping the commandments. If you are, if you are living worthily, then you have no problem getting a temple recommend.
As for what goes on in the Temple, there are a lot of rites and ordinances that are too important to just happen anywhere. And a lot of what goes on the Temple just isn't talked about, not because it's secret, just because it's sacred-kind of like how you don't use the Lord's name in vain. I have never been fully through the Temple, so I don't know specifically what goes on, but I know the basics of what happens. But some things are only talked about in great detail inside the Temple.
One of the things that happens inside the Temple is the Temple Marriage or Sealing ceremony. A Temple Marriage is the like the Ultimate goal/dream for most Mormon young people. It's really stressed and emphasized that young people should stay worthy to marry in the Temple and look for a worthy mate. Let me tell you why I am glad to be getting married in the Temple. In most earthly ceremonies, the wording proclaims the man and woman will be together "till Death do they part." Well in a temple Marriage, the young couple is sealed together for "Time and all Eternity." It has to do with what in the scriptures is called the Sealing Power. Basically the Lord gives the authority to certain o fhis Earthly servants and the "Whatsoever Ye shall bind on Earth shall be bound in Heaven." And only certain places, like the temple are sacred/clean enough for the sealing ceremony to take place. There's a little more to it than that, and I'm probably not explaining it very well. Nathan and I will be entering into a covenant, or promise between us and God and promising to honor our marriage covenant in return for blessings and the opportunity to spend forever with each other.
Basically, Nathan and I don't want to spend just this earthly life together. When you love someone, wouldn't you want to spend forever with them? One of the first times I knew I was falling in love with Nathan was when we were talking about getting married in the temple and he told me he definitely wanted to, because he loved me so much and didn't want this earthly life to be the end of our relationship, but wanted to be with me forever. I don't remember exactly what he said but it was super sweet.
Anyway, what that means it that very few people will be invited to the actually wedding ceremony, because it will take place inside the temple. The only people who can come inside the Temple with us are church members who are living worthily. While we wish all our close friends and family could be there (actually Nathan probably feels the less the better, because he gets so nervous.) they will not all be able to join us inside the temple. Which is good, because the Temple Sealing Room has limited space. So when we send out announcements/invitations, what we are inviting people to is our Rockin' Wedding Reception. We do want to be able to celebrate our wedding with everyone. Don't feel left out or anything that you aren't invited to the Temple Wedding Ceremony. The reception is just as important to us and everyone who comes to the reception will be able to take an equal part in being with us for our happy day.
I hope all that makes sense, and let me know if you have any questions.
(I'm really excited to be getting married!!!!!!!! But planning the wedding is super stressful. See next post.)